For as long as I can remember, I’ve been obsessed with weddings! The beautiful white gowns, gorgeous floral arrangements, the speeches and the toasts. But the weddings I was seeing on TV and the ones I was going to were so different. The ceremonies weren’t in English for starters, and there was so much cultural and religious significance that I wasn’t familiar with. I was lucky that I was surrounded by so many sources of information and knowledge who could help me know and understand the reasons behind our traditional wedding ceremonies. And as my turn came to get married, I realized that I didn’t know much about the functions that occur in a wedding where both the bride and groom are Telugu and Brahmin. I realized that not only did I not have much knowledge about what our wedding would entail, but also not many young Indian people actually understand the significance of the ceremonies they partake in when they get married. They do it because it’s what “their parents want” and if they don’t like certain parts, they changed them or took parts out all together. While this worked for some people, I wanted a traditional wedding, and wanted to do all the parts of the ceremony as they were intended to be. With so many people asking me the significance of the wedding week and ceremonies, I decided to write this blog to document all the moments leading up to and the ceremonies of the wedding, to give people a better understanding of the cultural significance of the ancient ceremonies. And even though it was a long and exhausting week of functions, I wouldn’t change one thing of our wedding week.

 

Mehendi Function

Indian weddings comprise of a host of pre and post wedding rituals that extend the happy occasion through days before and after the actual wedding day. These colorful events bring the whole family together, even from far off places. The immediate and extended families, and friends get together to celebrate the union of the couple. The Mehendi Ceremony is one such event that is an indispensable part of the wedding celebrations. The mehendi ceremony generally refers to the application of a henna paste in elaborate intricate designs on the bride’s hands and feet. A fun part of this function is that the groom’s name is hidden somewhere in the design. Also, it is said that the darker the henna turns out, the strong the love is that the couple shares. An immensely colorful event, the Mehendi ceremony officially kicks off the wedding festivities in full gear.

Use of Mehendi in a pre-wedding ritual is not just cosmetic but has deep underlying scientific reasons behind it. Henna is known for its cooling properties and is supposed to calm the bride’s nerves when applied to her hands and feet.

*Side note: my bridal mehendi was extra special, as it featured a male and female Indian classical dancers. Dance has been a huge part of my life and my husband also grew up learning the art, so it only seemed fitting to feature it in my mehendi.

Bridal Mehendi Courtesy of: Krupa Thomas Instagram: @hennabeautybykrupa

Mehendi Function: Shivani Kolluru Instagram: @desidesignsmi

Pelli Koothuru

The pelli koothuru function is when a young lady “officially” becomes a bride. Her and her little sister sit and receives blessings from the elder ladies in the family and community as she embarks on a new life as a wife. Raw turmeric roots are ground infront of the bride by elders and married ladies, oil is placed on top of her head, and the bride is given new clothes and jewelry. A black dot called a dishti chukka is placed on the bride’s left cheek to ward away the evil eye, and the bride’s feet are adorned with a red paste called paraani.

Pelli Koduku

Similarly, the pelli koduku function is when a young man “officially” becomes a groom. The groom sits and receives blessings from the elders in the family and community as he embarks on a new life as a husband. Raw turmeric roots are ground in front of the groom by elders and married ladies, and the groom is given new clothes to wear. A black dot called a dishti chukka is placed on the groom’s right cheek to ward away the evil eye, and the groom’s feet are adorned with a red paste called paraani.

Snathakam and Kasi Yatra

In the olden days, Brahmin boys were made to wear sacred threads, and were sent away from home to the sages to learn the Vedas, or religious texts. When they returned, they had to perform the Snatakam, signifying they had completed their education and were ready to take on other responsibilities. Once a boy had completed his basic education, he was given the choice to either pursue marriage or go to Kasi and study further to become a sanyasi. In this pre-wedding ceremony, the groom pretends to go to Kasi and says he has discarded all his worldly pleasures such as marriage, relations, and properties, and that he is no longer concerned with leading a family life. The bride’s brother then stops him and coaxes him to assume the responsibility of a household and marry his sister. They tease each other a bit, the bride’s brother bribes him with sweets, and eventually the groom readily agrees to get married. This day in age, the Snatakam signifies that the groom is ready for marriage.

Wedding Ceremonies

Ankurarpanam

This is the first of the wedding day ceremonies, and happens with the bride’s parents, away from the main wedding crowd. This is an important Vedic ceremony in the wedding, where the bride’s parents invoke the nine planets and the bride’s forefathers and ancestors to be present and bless the occasion and the bride and groom. The bride’s parents sprinkle nine different grains (navadhanyalu in Telugu) in clay pots filled with soil ( paalikalu). The grains represent the following: wheat (sun), rice (moon), toot (Mars), mung (mercury), chickpeas (Jupiter), black eye white peas (Venus), sesame (Saturn), Urad (Rahu), lentils (Ketu). Grains and cotton seeds represent the forefathers, with rice patty with husk representing planet Earth. As this soil is highly fertile, the grains sprout within a short period of time, blessing the family with infinite prosperity, and the paalikalu are placed around the wedding alter.

 

Gauri Puja

The bride worships the Goddess Gauri by performing the Gauri Puja. The Goddess Gauri is highly revered as it is believed that she is a manifestation of Shakti, the mother of the universe and the power and energy by which God creates, preserves, and destroys the world. She symbolizes motherhood, family, and the victory of good over evil.

Baraat

This is the groom’s grand entrance to the wedding venue, where he is accompanied by family and friends as the bride’s family waits to welcome them to the wedding. There is a lot of music, singing, and dancing as the groom is paraded to the venue.

Edurukolu/Eduru Sannaham 

When the groom enters the wedding venue, he is greeted and invited to the wedding by the bride’s parents with the mangala aarati, to ward off the evil eye. This is done a number of times throughout the wedding ceremony. The groom and his family are offered paanakam (sweetened water) other refreshments, and a copy of the wedding card. The groom is then escorted and welcomed at the marriage mandapam, or alter. Through such a parade, public approval is sought of the groom by the bride’s family.

Ganapati Puja

During a marriage, Ganapathi, the Hindu God who removes obstacles is invoked to keep away all imperilments for such an auspicious function.

Punyaha Vachana

Prayers are recited to sanctify the water used during the ceremony. Holy water is sprinkled to purify the location. The groom receives a sacred thread signifying the beginning of family life.

Raksha Bandhanan

A thread is tied to the groom’s right wrist to protect him from any evil influences during the ceremony.

Kanya Agamanam

This is the traditional entrance of the bride. Here, the bride is carried to the mandapam, or marriage stage, by her maternal uncles while sitting in a basket. Before the couple sees each other, a partition is held in front of the groom  The bride and groom are purified before the wedding.

Vara Puja and Kanyadanam

The bride’s father washes the feet of the groom with holy water, and wipes them with silk. The bride’s father then officially gives his daughter’s hand in marriage. Water is sprinkled on the couple in order to guard them against any bad omens. Vedic mantras are chanted giving thanks to the celestial caretakers of the bride’s childhood. Having attained nobility, the girl is now free to be given in marriage to the groom.

Muhurtham

The auspicious moment for marriage is pre-chosen and known as the Subhamuhurtham. At this appointed time, amidst mantras from Vedas being recited by the priest, the bride and groom apply jeelakarra bellam (a paste made from cumin seeds and raw brown sugar) on each other’s heads at exactly the same moment. The bitter taste of cumin and the sweetness of sugar cannot be separated, symbolizing that the bride and groom are supposed to become inseparable through life’s bitter and sweet times. It is also said when the couple touches each others’ heads, there is a complete interchange of each other’s thoughts and destinies, thus making their lives completely intertwined. When the groom accepts the bride completely, the partition is removed at the moment predetermined based on the bride and groom’s horoscopes and astrological signs. The bride and groom then sit next to each other in front of a sacrificial fire. The bride’s parents are seated to her right while the priest is seated opposite of them and to the left of the groom. A fire, or Agni, is in the center.

Following the muhurtham, the bride and groom leave to change into tradition cotton clothes, called madhuparkam. The bride is escorted by married ladies carrying lights or deepams made of ghee, and plates rice.

Mangalya Puja

A prayer is made to Goddess Lakshmi, the goddess of prosperity. It is conducted to remove obstacles for marriage, to have good matrimonial alliance, to have happy and prolonged marital bliss, and also to have good progeny. The priest blesses the mangalasutra (gold pendants of goodwill tied by a turmeric thread). The mantras chanted at this time say “Let this gold multiply your wealth. Let this water purify your married life, and may your prosperity increase.”

Mangalya Dharanam and Brahmamudi

The bride, looking eastward, and the groom facing westward, ties the gold mangalasutra around the neck of the bride. The groom ties three nots, while reciting mantras saying ” Praying the Almighty that I be blessed with a long life, I tie this knot around your neck, oh sowbhagyavati, may providence bestow on you a fulfilling life of a married woman for a hundred years.” This is one of the ceremonies as God graces newlyweds to live a blissful life on earth as wife and husband.

Talambralu

The bride and groom shower one another with talambralu (rice mixed with saffron and turmeric). This denotes the couple’s desire for happiness, enjoyment, and contentment. Initially they take turns to shower the rice; however as it progresses, it gets more entertaining when they begin to compete with each other.

Exchange of Garlands

The couple exchanges flower garlands as a gesture of acceptance of one another and a pledge to respect one another as partners.

Pradhana Homam

A crucial part of the wedding the homage paid by the couple to Agni, the god of fire. The couple feeds the fire with ghee and twigs of nine types of holy trees as sacrificial fuel. The fumes that arise possess medicinal curative, and cleansing effects on the bodies of the couple. Agni, the mightiest power in the cosmos, the sacred purifier, the all around benefactor is deemed as a witness to the sacred marriage. Hence the term “Agnis Saakshi” or witness by fire.

Laaja Homam

This compromises the bride’s own offering into the sacrificial fire. The bride feeds the fire with grains of rice given to her by her brother. Through this food offering, the bride seeks a long life for her husband and for propagation of her family.

Agni Pradakshina

The couple circles the fire four times as a form of worship. Pradakshina literally means “to the right”. The clockwise direction is followed since the devotees should have their right side towards to object of worship.

Saptapadi

Holding hands, the bride and groom place their right big toe on seven supari nuts. This is one of the most important part of the marriage ceremony. With each step, they take a vow. The belief is that when one walks seven steps with another, one becomes the other’s friend. The mantras said at this time mean, “You who have walked with me, become my companion, whereby I acquire your friendship. We shall remain together – inseparable. Let us make a vow together. We shall be of one mind. I shall be the upper world and you the earth. Together we shall live in happiness and prosperity.” The bride’s maternal aunt will place silver toe rings on the bride’s feet.

Aseervachanam

Rice grains coated with turmeric and saffron are showered on the couple and parents by elders and guests as a blessing.

Arundhathi Nakshatra Darsanam

Finally, the groom shows the bride the star Arundhathi (from the Saptha Rishi or Big Dipper constellation) and the star Dhruva or the North Star. Arundhathi is the wife of Vashista Maharishi and exemplified as the ideal wife – the embodiment of chastity. Dhruva is the one who attained immortality through single-minded devotion and perseverance. This is symbolic of the fact that such virtues are to be emulated throughout marital life.

 

Appagintalu

This ending to the wedding ceremonies comprises of a few different parts. This is where the bride’s parents ask the in-laws and the bride’s new husband to take care of their daughter. Long ago when parents used to conduct the weddings of their daughters when they were 8 years old before reaching maturity, parents were concerned to send their young daughters to live with a new family. And so they wholeheartedly request the new in-laws to take care of their daughter. The bride’s parents place her hands in a plate of milk, and wipe them on the groom’s parents and family members hands, signifying the official handing off of the bride to the groom and his family. A few games are also played to create a sense of companionship between the bride and the groom.

The priest takes the bride and groom’s rings and put them in a silver pot of water. The person who is able to fish out both rings first best out of three times is said to have the upper hand in the relationship. This game is fun as it shows the fun more competitive side of the bride and groom, and the friends and family egg the couple on to win.

Another game that is played involves the groom’s sister. The bride is told to play with two wooden dolls, meant to signify the couple’s children. When the children start to “cry”, the bride tries to put them in a swing to calm them down but nothing seems to work. When the bride asks her husband to help, he says he cannot as he is busy with work. This exchange happens a few times before the groom’s sister steps in and says that she is able to take care of the children.

 

Gruhapravesam

This is when the new couple, who are looked at as Lord Vishnu and Goddess Lakshmi enter the groom’s home for the first time. The couple are told they cannot enter the home without announcing themselves, and stating that they are entering the home with their husband/wife respectively. The groom’s parents greet the couple with aarti to remove the evil eye, and the couple enter the threshold of the home with their right foot. The new daughter in law is said to bring prosperity with her, and so is bringing prosperity with her into her new home.

Satyanarayana Vratam

It is said that performing the Satyanarayana Vratam after getting married is an auspicious start to a happy marriage. Satya  meaning “truth” and narayana “meaning” preserver, is a ceremony that humans in this lifetime or kaliyuga are said to perform. By performing this vratam, it is said that Lord Satyanarayana will grant them health, wealth, prosperity, success, and relief from troubles.

 

A huge shoutout to the following for making this wedding possible!

Hair: Sandhya Sree Athmakuri and Hair by Aysha

Make Up : JHobby Studio

Photography and Videography: Lahari Vithala, Killer Creations Photography